Hermana Heywood

Kaitlynn in the Chile Puerto Montt Mission

Morning Check-in with You (Valdivia), April 20, 2026

April 20, 2026 · Herriman / Valdivia

Roughly 42-minute Monday morning call. You were exhausted, the zone had no energy, and you were wrestling with how to support a struggling companionship in a dangerous sector. I gave leadership coaching; you and Mom worked through mental health and journaling; Mom joined for a library story.

Opening - connection and "the zone has no energy"

You were cleaning your apartment when the call started. You left your phone at your desk where the signal is strongest, so I couldn't see you. The connection was rough throughout - I could only understand about 40% of what you were saying for the first ten minutes.

Your opening summary: the zone has no energy, everybody is dying, the past several days have been packed with intercambios and everything that could go wrong did. You would rather be busy when it's hard.

The struggling companionship - dangerous sector, dismissive elders

The substantive thread. One companionship you oversee is struggling:

You and Hermana Stewart walked one street of the sector a few days ago and were genuinely scared - people openly carrying drugs, homeless men with beer bottles, multiple sketchy encounters in a single block on the street where the hermanas live. You trust the Brazilian hermana's read on danger specifically because the hermana grew up next door to people who sold drugs in Brazil and has seen people killed with knives on her street; if she is scared, that is meaningful.

My framing: this is exactly the sort of thing the mission president needs to know. My respect for boys that age "keeps getting lower." Then a self-correction: be careful you're not only seeing it from one side. As a leader, listen, take the principle of what someone says, then go observe and judge for yourself rather than taking complaints at face value. If the elders are making the hermanas feel bad, that is a different problem that has to be addressed.

You have an intercambio planned for Tuesday and Wednesday in that sector to see it for yourself.

The heart-attack-the-door story

To support the hermanas while waiting for the exchange, you and your companion decided to "heart attack" their door - covering it in paper hearts. You almost got caught and had to hide behind something. When the door opened, it was a middle-aged man - you had hit the wrong floor and heart-attacked his door instead. He was furious; he saw two teenage girls and a covered door and assumed you were up to something. You apologized, asked where the missionaries lived, were told "up a level," and took the hearts off and started over. You did it right the second time. The best part: when you went up, you could overhear the hermanas talking, and the door-attack went over well.

The hermanas then let you in and unloaded - a horrible day, sketchy stuff all through the sector: a drug house that is actually a member's house where the kids will go out and threaten people with knives; houses they have to hide from because people follow them; one house where they kept seeing a hand reach out from under the door.

The elders live in the same building (or one over). The hermanas asked the elders to come bless the apartment, then told them they hated the sector. The elders' response: "It's not that dangerous, suck it up, I worked there." When the hermanas pushed back that things are different for women, the elders' response was "the same thing happens for men too." That landed badly.

Your frustration - "I don't know what more I could be doing"

The full unload. A direct quote worth preserving:

"I don't know how to change an hermana too sector. I don't even know how to be an hermana too leader. I don't know what you want from me. Is this complaining? Just complaining so you can get it off the chest? Or is this towards something I'm doing because I'm doing something because I don't know what I'm doing? I don't know how to help the hermanas. I don't know how to minister to them. They speak Spanish, and so I can't really speak to them in a way that I would love to minister, because I don't have the full reach of the language yet."

You ran through the rest of the zone's problems: another companionship where the trainer has the best planning skills in the zone but they can't find anyone; another where the personalities don't match (one shy, one talkative) and the talkative one is starting to feel burned out doing everything. You wanted to be a regular hermana - your own companion is already a better leader than you believe you will ever be.

My response:

"I think you're doing great. Whether the zone fails or succeeds is not on your shoulders. Whether the zone is happy or sad is not on your shoulders. The only thing you have to worry about is just loving them. If you feel inspired to do something, do that thing. Your primary purpose for being out there is to serve and to help other people learn about Jesus. Take a minute to breathe and then just do one thing at a time. Don't worry about the things you can't change. The efforts you are doing are perfect."

Mental health and journaling

You pivoted to something you have been noticing: you don't realize you are feeling a thing until you are feeling it. It is non-existent until it exists and then it is annoying. You are "barely grasping this concept of myself."

I suggested journaling. Writing the day out would help you discover what you are feeling and why. "If you don't know there is a problem until you discover it, how can you fix it?"

You said you have learned a lot about mental health from your companion (who studied psychology and has worked through her own issues). You used to think mental health "just doesn't exist - you're fine or you're not fine," but watching your companion has changed your view. You have noticed you play a lot more mind games than you realized - the example you gave was an anxiety spiral about whether downloading music from YouTube was illegal even after the mission president gave you permission. You have had to force your way out of thinking everything is the end of the world.

Music request - Paul Cardall, "Joseph the Dreamcoat"

The mission president told you that if music helps you feel the Spirit, you can listen to it. You are sick of the same gospel-library songs and want more. Specifically Paul Cardall, "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat," any worship music or hymns on CD that I own and can put into a Google Drive. Action item for me.

Mom joins - the library / Brother Snyder story

Around the 40-minute mark you caught Mom laughing off-screen. Mom explained: she had gone to sit on the couch, grabbed the blanket, it wouldn't move - Mason was hidden underneath and she didn't know he was there. It scared her.

Then a related story: at the library the day before, your "Brother Snyder put his arm around me." Mom rolled her eyes but allowed it because "what Brother Snyder wants, Brother Snyder gets." It turned out it was me, who knew exactly what Mom was thinking and did it on purpose to make her squirm. The punchline: Mom had to choose whether it was Brother Molton or Brother Snyder, and she picked Brother Snyder.

Closing

Mom noticed an alert on my phone - a work incident. I had to go deal with it. You also had to leave for the store. You promised to call again that night. Mom sent you off with: "You have a great opportunity to be present where you're at and to build relationships and have a really good day in a different way than the rest of the week, so take advantage of that." Me: "Do one thing at a time. Don't worry about what you can't fix. Where you are, be there, and then just love. That's what the Savior did."

Cleanup Notes