Hermana Heywood

Kaitlynn in the Chile Puerto Montt Mission

Memorial Day Family Call with You (Puerto Montt), May 25, 2026

May 25, 2026 · Herriman + Puerto Montt

This was about a 75-minute Memorial Day call. You were in your new area in Puerto Montt, into your first week as Hermana Líder Viajera with the APs. Mom and Alexa were both at home with me; we passed the phone around and you and Alexa got the first stretch before you asked for the phone to go to Mom.

Opening Logistics

Mom and I got on first while she went to grab a water bottle. I told her I'd had breakfast with Dave and Jake. Jake was getting things ready for Reese, who's going to BYU Provo. Brooke had been made something — I wasn't quite sure, said something about "ACL." Allison and her husband Ryan stayed over the night before; Mariah was there too. Dave made breakfast at his house: pancakes, eggs, bacon, and a cinnamon roll.

Alexa Joins

Alexa came on screen with her cup. She said school ends June 4th or 5th and she wants it to end. She asked what I was going to do the day you get back. Mom said she'd be in Utah on September 23rd. Alexa: "We have so many days left to go. One hundred twenty-one days left until you get back."

Alexa had spent the day so far sitting outside, but earlier had played Super Smash Bros with Bryson and Mason. They had recently gotten Super Smash Bros and the new Tomodachi Life game on the Switch. Both were really fun.

I did a bit about Mondays being "a special day. It's a day you get ready for the rest of the week." Alexa pointed out my "entire thing of orange juice" and referenced an American Pie / orange-juice song from Sunday.

You Come On

I had been asking if you were cleaning; I could barely understand you at first. You:

"I'm cleaning our disgusting house. They've been waiting all week to do it, and now I'm happy because I can."

Mom: "But on Mondays we work."

Alexa's Week and Girls Camp Plans

Alexa rattled off the rest of her week: Minecraft, swag, a park, and she was excited because she was going to play pickleball with Bryson later that day ("pickle baby!"). She was also excited for Girls Camp because they were going up to the Halstead's cabin in Idaho. June 10th through 13th, around the same time as Moab last year.

She went into a long bit about her and Sophia having had a joke that they were married and "had Jenna Fusano. She's our child." Since Moab was the 13th, she thought they might celebrate Jenna's first birthday because it had been a year. Then: "Me and Sophia are divorced now." I said: "They're going through the big D, she told me in Dallas." Alexa briefly stepped away.

Crochet Bottle Holder, Dirty Dr Pepper, the Camera

Alexa came back with a water bottle holder she was crocheting for Jen. You approved. You said there was a new Doctor Pepper called Creamy Coconut and asked if it was just a dirty Dr Pepper rebranded. I said exactly. I praised Alexa's crochet skill: "It's either that or macaroni." Alexa: "I think macaroni is the thing that you eat."

You:

"Oh my goodness, Dad, I miss Dirty Dr. Pepper's."

I told you they make them out of the tap now and they're "super Coca." Then I noticed you had a camera. You had found it in a house and needed to find batteries; it looked battery-powered with double-A's and had a port that wasn't USB-C or Lightning. Alexa: "the other one... like the one that the DS uses." I said: "It's USB-B." Then I corrected myself: "I think it's called a mini. It's called a mini USB. Here, let me share my screen. I'll show you." There was talk of stew, lentil stew, potatoes and carrots. You said it made you want to make gnocchi.

Alexa Says Bye, Hands the Phone to Mom

You told Alexa you had to go, and asked Alexa if you could call her tonight, just Alexa: "Is that okay? Can I just call you, just you tonight?" Alexa: "Please don't." You: "I'll talk to you later, hon. Do you want to give the phone to mom?" The phone passed to Mom.

Your First-Week Update as Hermana Líder Viajera

I asked how you were doing and noted you sounded totally healthy, like you had no cold at all.

You: "I know it's because I've literally healed in four days. The power of Jesus is real."

You said the week had been a lot of meetings because it was the first week of the transfer. You had been the one giving the presentations to all of the new missionaries. Mom and I asked you to define "presentation" (you were momentarily confused: "is that not an English word?"). You explained the presentations were teaching new missionaries about the mission and how the mission goes. Trainers had also been planning a tour of the mission because the area Seventy was coming.

You said you were going to have two zone conferences for the whole mission and you'd be at both because you are "the fake assistant to the president. I am the hermana viajera." I repeated "hermana viajera." You said the zone conferences were going to be a bit different than normal, and you and the other leaders had also been talking about all the missionaries. You'd had an end meeting, and you'd gotten to eat sushi for free at a lunch celebrating "the week of Cumbias."

Mom: "Not be every cumbia with the president? You get to do that? You have all the perks." You said you were going to the president's house that night for a weekly meeting. Who's in the meeting? "Us, the APs, the president and [Hermana] Mackay." Mom: "You really are the fake AP." You: "It's pretty cool."

You added that you'd already done exchanges with one companionship that week. "It's been a busy but good week."

Proselyting, the New Ward, and the Temple Rumor

I asked if you do any proselytizing. You said you'd gotten in a couple of hours of proselyting and found a lot of people in this sector.

Then you described the sacrament meeting:

"We had the best sacrament meeting that I've had in years. It was maybe even better than at home. It was incredible. The spirit was so strong. I didn't have to play the piano, so I was able to sing all of the talks. They talked about Jesus, and they weren't ranting about dumb things that members rant about sometimes."

You said the kids weren't running around screaming; they were well behaved and listening; the spirit was so strong. You thought part of it was because this is the ward of the temple: the temple will be in your ward area. You thought one of the reasons the area Seventy was coming was to announce the date of the groundbreaking ceremony. I said: "Maybe you'll be able to attend the groundbreaking." You: "If it's within the next four months, I will be able to."

I asked whether you'd be at every zone conference and everything the president went to. You: "Wherever the APs go, we go basically." I asked if they get your advice on counseling sisters and on putting certain personality types together. You said in the transfer "we counsel about who should go where and who should be whose companion."

Your Reflection on Leadership

I asked how you felt about being on the other side of the curtain. Your near-verbatim reply:

"It's weird, but I actually love it. I feel like I've been working as a sweeper in Blackridge and now I'm a teacher or now I'm the principal. And I just worked my way up the ladder. And I also just feel like I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve this ward and how incredible it is and how much potential there is. I don't deserve this assignment as a Hermana de la Hera. I don't deserve any of it. And it makes me feel very blessed, very honored that God would choose me."

You referenced something Presidente Mackay had told you when he gave you your blessing: a general authority story about a Seventy who had just been ordained, where the GA said he could go out and pick anybody walking on the street and call them to the same calling, because God can prepare anybody. You said you couldn't remember the point but there was a happy ending and it wasn't to offend you. I said: "You could have said, 'Oh, is that what they did to you?'" You: "I should have."

You continued:

"I've been thinking about that since I had my blessing about how God really can just pick anybody and He can have them be and do the exact same thing that I am doing right now. It's so cool that of all the people that he could have picked, he picked me. And so there is no reason to be cocky about my assignment because I am not better than any other missionary. The reason I am here is not because I am better. The reason I am here is not because I am more qualified. There is no qualification, and it's just because God wanted to pick me for something that I needed to learn most likely."

You said you'd read in John the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet, and another talk that said the greatest of you is like the servant. You'd been thinking about leadership lately, wanting to do a good job, not wanting to be cocky, wanting to be humble. As you were reading all of that, you said you were slowly learning that "leadership positions are not to put you up on a pedestal, they're to give you more opportunities to serve."

And then your reframe of the word itself:

"There was a talk that I read from some prophet that made me think of the word leadership different or leader different. The reason I'm in leadership, the reason I am a leader is not so I can lead other people, but so God can lead me. In my mind, that's what leadership means. It's not me above everybody, it's God above me."

You said it had been cool to see that in Presidente Mackay this past week — his leadership and his service, how you'd never felt like a burden to him for asking for something, even though he is incredibly busy. Then you pivoted to me and Mom:

"And then I think of you guys at home, Dad and the Bishopric, Mom and Young Women's Presidencies, or when Dad was in elders quorum, or when Mom was in the primary, like whatever it was. How you guys were always amazing examples of just giving your time to the Lord and serving others. And honestly, even without callings, you guys have always been the ones to go and serve. Even though you've never been in the popular Hoskins/Iverson/Casey Iverson/Bishop Circle down there. Like we've never been a part of that family circle or friend circle. But that's not important. You guys have always been the ones to get out and serve."

You named a specific memory you said keeps coming back to you on your mission:

"When me and mom we walked into church. Dad, you were on the stand talking to somebody. I think you might have been helping to prepare the sacrament maybe. I can't remember. And mom, like we were about to sit down, but mom saw someone new in the back. And then she was like 'wait, I want to go say hi to them' and she just left. She just took off to go say hi. And I remember like being like should I go? Should I stay? Should I go? And I was like no, I'm going to sit down. Like that's weird why would we ever say hi to anyone new? But mom just saw the importance of going and saying hi."

Then your ask:

"It's like the little things where being a leader is not about being put on a pedestal above everybody else or being special, it's about serving others. Honestly, that's something I've really struggled with this week: trying to be okay with not being seen for what I'm doing. Trying to be okay with kind of getting brushed under the rug and not being noticed for all the work I'm putting in. What are your guys' advice on that?"

My Counsel

I went first. I referenced the scripture about "God who seeth in secret will reward thee openly." The point: you are not fasting for other people. You don't go up and contort your face and say, "Look how righteous I am! I literally haven't eaten anything for four hours now." It's not about getting recognition for your sacrifices because you're not sacrificing for other people, you're sacrificing for God. I said your sacrifice is with your time, your talents, and some of the covenants you made in the temple.

I continued: no matter what calling I've been in, it's the same size. My calling in the bishopric is just as big as my calling in Valiant 9, because it's what you make of it. It would be the same if I were a Sunday school teacher. I lost my train of thought; you played it back for me: "Your callings are the same. You're calling in the Valiant Nine is just the same as a bishopric. It's what you make of it."

I picked it back up:

"Heavenly Father knows your talents, knows your spirit, knows everything about you. And also knows, I think Kaitlynn would really be able to reach this person or reach that person. Or Kaitlynn really needs to understand this lesson or that lesson, because down the road, she's going to help someone that wouldn't be able to do this on their own."

I said maybe Heavenly Father knows your daughter or son is going to be going through a challenge, or you're strong enough to handle this challenge and it will teach you the lessons and wisdom to share with another person through your experience. I said there are so many opportunities and blessings when we let Him take control and we are humble. "The closer you could get to saying that you have charity, the further away you could get from pride, the happier you'll be."

I added a caveat about myself: "It's always nice to be recognized too. I like from a professional standpoint, I thrive on recognition... I want to know if I'm doing an okay job, feedback. I thrive on positive feedback. Doesn't necessarily need to be Jason did all the things. More so like, hey you did a really good job on this or hey you stink." Then: "That one would make me sad, but at least I'd know." You: "It happens to the best of us. The other day I stepped in dog poop, and my comp told me I stink." Mom: "Then did you wipe it on her and say, well now we both stink? You really should have."

Mom's Counsel

Mom appeared to read or recite something she'd been writing or had saved:

"The Lord always makes us more. He always provides the help we need and makes the time work. What growth would I and my family have had if I had said yes? And who could I have helped and blessed if I'd said yes? So you said yes to this calling, and did you now get the opportunity for all the growth and to help and bless people?"

She continued: "What an awesome opportunity you have both for yourself and to help others. Don't be prideful but also really embrace and enjoy because it's just like this priceless opportunity." She cited her own callings as the source of long-term relationships: she had known Chandler Scadden through her calling, and his mom through her calling, and Parker Smith through serving the young men and young women, and "Anne Sam," all of those people through her callings. Years later, those relationships were still a blessing. "Got to be a part of their journeys. Get to know and love and care about them. And you get to have that opportunity with this. So just really embrace it and use it to be a builder to help others. To lift them, to be that positive person in their life who sees their potential and their goodness and how they're trying."

She wrapped:

"I'm just really excited that you get this opportunity. Just really embrace it. Don't waste time being overwhelmed because I think when you make it about yourself, you do get overwhelmed and it's hard and stressful. But when it's about others, you can just love and serve and help. That's my advice."

I added: "It's okay to not have all the answers." Mom: "I don't know the meaning of all things, but I do know that God loves me."

Teancum, Eglon, and the Tirzepatide Bit

You (riffing on the Nephi/Laban line): "Remember then how he killed the guy?" Mom: "It was probably his companion because he was annoying." You: "I think that's what Teancum whispered in the ear of the evil Lamanite king right before he pierced his heart with a javelin." Alexa: "I don't know the meaning of all things, but I know God loves me." Mom: she'd been reading "the scripture about the fat man who got stabbed in the belly" to the kids the night before — Eglon. You: "Got stabbed with an eighteen inch knife, and it went in and kept on going." Mom: "He was a very fat dude." You: "He was probably chileno." I said: "He'd been taking tirzepatide injections and his nerve endings were dead." You: "What? Tirzepatide... kill your nervous?" Mom: "I hope not. I can tell you that with confidence." You: "I'm glad your nerve ends aren't dead."

Your Scalp Condition

You told Mom that the flaky-scalp issue you'd mentioned a couple weeks ago had progressed. Now it was red. It hurt a lot of times, especially when you had your hair in a bun, even a low bun, where it tugged on your hair. It was super flaky. You asked Mom to get you a specialty shampoo, like Head and Shoulders. Mom: "If they have a T-gel or one for psoriasis, like a better one." She reminded you that you used to use both T-gel and Nizoral. Try a shampoo for the condition first, give it a couple of weeks, and if it doesn't help, you'd need to ask them to let you go to a doctor.

You said you weren't sure if you could find one — you'd have to go to a pharmacy and you thought you might be too lazy. You asked if you could just use Head and Shoulders. Mom: "Why don't you not be too lazy for this? Do you have a pharmacy in your town and is it P-day?" You said you'd cleaned the entire house today and "I'm the only one that works here. That's a lie. Not the only one that works here." Mom asked if you were going out before the end of P-day. You said probably not (chill P-day), but when you did go out for errands you could try. Mom: "When you run your errands, try to go to a store that could have it. We would buy it at normal stores." You: "There are no normal stores. They don't even sell protein powder in normal stores. You have to go to a pharmacy to get it."

The Accidental-Spanish Presentation Story

I commented you were speaking in tongues. You told a story from your presentations to the new greenies: there are two groups (English and Spanish), and you'd been supposed to be presenting in English but started talking in Spanish. People started stopping you, saying "stop, you need to talk in English." You hadn't even noticed you'd switched. "I was like, I'm so sorry. That's so awkward... It was just genuinely I started talking in Spanish because that's just normal and I didn't know." Mom: "You're like this will happen to you where it'll become your language." You: "You'll all be just as retarded as me. Don't give up. You'll get here someday to a level of knucklehead. I'm so tired."

Anya Update

Mom asked you if you'd seen what she had written about Anya struggling. You'd already emailed her — that week and the week before. She'd been responding every time. I asked if Anya was giving you real stuff or just saying it's fine. Mom explained Anya's dad had said Anya was only telling Kirsten the real stuff; Kirsten was telling the dad; the dad had complained to the mission president. You had sent Anya an email asking "How are you really doing?" Mom: "That was good giving her permission to tell you the truth." You: "So we'll see if she answers me." Mom: "That was good."

Parker Shepard's Email

You said an elder from your mission, now home, had emailed you. His name was Parker Shepard, from South Jordan. Mom: "He was the blonde that was a little thicker." You: "He was a chunker." His email said: "Yo, hermana. Hey, congrats on being a missionary. Good job for sending an email. I forgot I added my email to your list. Nosvemos, swipey Parker." Mom: "What does that even mean? What are those words? English? 'Nos swipey' — is he Dora the Explorer?" You: "Nosvemos means we'll see you. 'No swipey swiper!'" I said: "Swipe right." You: "He said, 'We'll see you.' Like, 'nosvemos' is 'we'll see you.'" I asked: "What did he say about swipe?" You: "He didn't. That was Mom just having a nonsense moment."

Mom: "You need to reply back. Are you trying to date him?" You: "No. Don't reply back. I'm not. I would rather date Reese over that." Mom: "You just gave permission, it's happening. Your first date with Reese can be a triple date." You: "I want you to know I'm never going on a date with Reese. It's never gonna happen!" Mom: "You just said you would, so now you have to. We have it in writing. Too late, Dad's like, 'I'm not there,' and he's got a knife."

The Jace's-Dad Facebook Post

You pivoted to something gross you wanted to show. You had a Facebook post up of Jace's dad and his daughter Brooke, in which the dad was kissing the daughter on the lips with his eyes closed. Mom kept insisting it might be the mom; you and Alexa kept confirming it was the daughter. Mom: "Is there any chance that it's the mom? Mom. No. Stop asking." You made me swear I would never do that with one of my daughters. I said: "And then I'll take your picture while you are using them while we're pulling weeds or planting a tree, or working on the car." You: "Perfect. It's a deal."

Keely Bracken's Engagement

Alexa surfaced from her Facebook: Keely Bracken was getting married. Mom asked if she had been in track with you. You: "She was a long distance runner." I said: "My face is stuck this way now."

Natalie's Senior Pictures

Mom pulled up Natalie's senior pictures and the family went through them in a slideshow. You noted Natalie was wearing your dress, then your boots ("And the boots and the ribbon"); Mom confirmed: "That's our missionary girl dress. You can't wear anything else. You just have to wear the matching dress, all the sisters." I confirmed those were really cute pictures. Mom: "She looks like Grandma Heywood. She looks a lot like Grandma Heywood, which is so weird because I thought Nally was my one." You assessed which smiles were real vs fake. Other observations: cowboy boots ("They're Lily Olsen's smart"); a dance shirt with an undershirt that "looks like a tube top" but wasn't; one with me in it that you liked ("Aww! Why didn't we take your pictures?" — I said: "I was trying to convince them.").

You: "When did she get so skinny? Oh my goodness, she is not doing it. It's on her card." You asked who the actor was that does that — the green guy in Spider-Man. I said: "William Dafoe." You: "Does she exercise?" Mom: "She went running once." You: "But other than that, no. She's so cute! How is she so cute? I think she's a lot prettier when she doesn't use makeup."

Bryson Dating Update

You: "Has Bryson found any girls?" Mom: "He went on a date on Saturday and there was nothing... Not enough to go out with her, but it didn't sound like there was anything wrong with her, so I don't know what to do with him. He wants to be excited. And he wasn't excited." Mom (callback to the Jace's-dad bit): "He wants it to feel like he's kissing his daughter." I said: "For the very first time." You: "Aren't you so glad that Jason's not going to be your son-in-law?" Mom: "What are you going to do when he comes crawling back to you?" You: "He's not. He's too scared." I said: "You were too much woman for him. Not chunka. Didn't mean it that way."

Yard Tour

I transitioned: "So we're trying to get a concrete pad poured in the back. We've been working. It's a place to put a swimming pool." Mom clarified: "Just the normal pool, not in the background. Just a normal one." I said last year was kind of a "let's see if we'll do this." If we fall through with the pool, we've been working really hard on cleaning up the yard, doing lots of yard work and projects, and the yard was "probably the cleanest that it's ever looked."

Mom: "You should give me a tour." I walked the call through the floor inside, the floor outside, "floor plants," "Little Hiawatha," "The Crocs." I talked about putting wood between the fence to stop flooding. The peach tree was a real live tree; the onions were "gross"; the tree wouldn't die. Mom noticed there was room for a sandbox. I said: "That's where the pool was." You: "I thought it was where the tramp was. Are you going to put the tramp back?" I said: "We don't have a trampoline anymore. We got rid of it." You asked about a gazebo in the part where the sandstone was; I said: "I'd love to do that. I think that's always been the plan. It's just a matter of when we want to do it."

You noticed a new seating area. Mom: "Look how big that is." You asked if the chairs were freshly painted or just old and weathered, and observed: "Our yard is so bougie." Mom showed the tree in the middle of the grass — "looks like there's some dead on the top." Mom held herself up to a pole behind her to show how tall the tree had gotten. There were bees on lavender. I said: "That sounds like crunchy grass. We need to water." You: "That sounds like my crow." Tulips had come and gone; the lilac bush was done; "just summer flowers" now. Mom commented on the neighbors: "Who lives there now? Is it still Sierra? Was it Irma that's moving? Maybe Carmen's been there." She noted "they paid all these people to clean it and to weed it." Mom: "I'm gonna get ready real quick."

Sign-off

Mom: "We love you guys. The yard looks great." I said: "Thank you. We're really proud of you." Mom: "You're a great girl, woman, mature lady, matron." I said: "Bye, Kaitlynn. Love you all." Mom: "Bye."

Cleanup Notes