2025-11-11_email_ooh-bad-move-niel
From: jason.heywood@gmail.com To: kaitlynn.heywood@missionary.org CC: kaitlynn.heywood@gmail.com Date: 2025-11-11 Subject: OOH, BAD MOVE NIEL!
Mi hermosa hija
It was really nice talking to you yesterday. I can't believe you've already been on the mission for 9 months. That's crazy to me. Time is going too fast!
So far: 1. When we are faced with criticism, it is best to respond, not react. 2. Seek the Spirit Before You Speak or React 3. Focus on Eternal Principles, Not Petty Disputes 4. Respond with Meekness and Quiet Confidence 5. Let Your Works and Integrity Speak for Themselves
Next up: 6. Forgive quickly and assume good intent
Forgiving Quickly
This one can be a tough one for me. Well, they all have their tough parts, I suppose. By the nature of this principle, the person we're speaking to often doesn't realize they've been offensive in their word choices, so we have to assume good intent. Although it's difficult, what does doing so help us accomplish? For me, it helps me keep the Spirit. Choosing to believe they didn't mean their words the way the tone suggested—or the way they were phrased—helps me see that they aren't intending to be mean; they just don't fully understand.
Think about this principle in others, if they were to exercise it toward you. In fact, think about this for all the principles I've shared. Sometimes the words we say come across completely opposite from how we meant them. Would we appreciate it if others exercised this principle toward us? I think many times we're mortified or surprised when we learn that what we said came across as twisted or different from our intent. We can assume the same in others—especially when doing so helps us forgive quickly.
Here is an example from the Book of Mormon.
In the war chapters, Captain Moroni roasted Pahoran in a long-written epistle, accusing him of neglecting the army. What he didn't know was that Pahoran had been forcefully booted from his city and was neck deep in struggling to defend the government. However, instead of reacting in anger, he replied with grace:
"In your epistle ye have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart."
Pahoran forgave instantly. He looked past the accusation and chose to see Moroni's good intent — his zeal for righteousness. He saw in Moroni, someone who was just as passionate about freedom as he was. He saw a brother and ally.
Quick forgiveness sees the heart, not the tone. It says, "It mattereth not," and keeps relationships whole.
Holding Grudges
Forgiving quickly also means not holding grudges. Holding a grudge is a sure way to limit our ability to move past petty disputes—or even the big "whammies." It also shields us from the power of heaven and opens us up to the influence of the adversary. When we hold a grudge, we certainly aren't feeling the fruits of the Spirit. Instead, we tend to feel entitlement, a desire for retribution, or a need to punish—feelings that make the adversary giddy-apo.
Now, this doesn't mean we should open ourselves up to abuse or remain in situations where we are being verbally or otherwise mistreated. But in the context of missionary work—and in learning to navigate the intricacies of relationships—this principle helps us move forward with the help of heaven.
Doctrine and Covenants 64:9–10 "Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; For there remaineth in him the greater sin."
The Lord isn't minimizing our pain - He's showing that when we hold grudges, the bitterness hardens our hearts and blocks His healing power. The grudge itself becomes a heavier sin than the original offense, because it keeps us from Christ's mercy.
"There is a curious thing that happens with forgiveness. We think we are giving up something, but in reality we are gaining freedom. We are freeing ourselves from the chains of bitterness and hate." — "Of You It Is Required to Forgive," Ensign, June 1991
Assuming good intent
Matthew 26:40–41
In Gethsemane as Jesus suffered beyond what we could comprehend, His disciples ...fell asleep instead of staying awake to support Him! He could have been muy enojado, pero, what did he say? He said:
"What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
The Savior assumed good intent: "The spirit is willing." He knew they loved Him, even though they failed Him. Given the same opportunity, we should focus on what we know to be virtuous and true about our other human, not assume negative intent. The savior knew his peeps. He knew their hearts. Although he was disappointed, he forgave them and assumed if they had the ability they would be right there waiting up to support him.
For us, the Savior focuses on our desire to do good, not our moments of weakness. When we see others that way, our hearts soften and our relationships deepen.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: "Be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as those who serve with you. Except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this planet." "Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually," October 2017
Elder Marvin J. Ashton: "If we could look into the hearts of others and understand the challenges each of us faces daily, I think we would treat each other much more gently." — "The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword," April 1992
Assuming good intent is the mature expression of charity. It means realizing that everyone is carrying unseen battles—and giving them the benefit of the doubt.
When your companera says something sharp, try to pause and think, "She's probably tired," or "She meant that kindly, even if it came out wrong."
When el jefe grande de hermana leadero or someone else in authority gives unexpected feedback, IMMEDIATELY assume, "They are trying to help me improve."
When someone cancels an appointment, work on thinking something like, "Life is hard for them right now. We'll try again."
That quick act of mental mercy keeps your heart soft, your mind peaceful, and the Spirit close. Keep the Spirit, keep the Spirit. He is your direct connection to truth, peace, and charity.
Some thought questions - 1. What could help you pause before assuming negative intent? 2. How do you think forgiving quickly and assuming good intent would strengthen companionship unity and invite the Spirit? 3. Do you feel this may help you work on the tendency to overthink scenarios and worry? 4. How can you assume good intent and still communicate kindly when something hurts you?
Moroni 7:45 "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth."
"thinketh no evil." is the scriptural root of assuming good intent. It means giving others the benefit of the doubt. It's the decision to interpret words and actions through love rather than suspicion.
I love you, Kaitlynn! Take every moment out there to deepen your relationship with God. Work on it every day, and serve those around you wholeheartedly. Don't worry about being cool, and don't worry about boys—that's something you can think about in nine months. (Gross.) Focus on your Father in Heaven, and focus on Spanish. It's tempting to focus on the fun moments—the social parts of missionary life and the friendships within your district or zone—but that's not why you're in Chile. You are there to love those around you, to serve them, and most importantly, to help people come to know the Savior. Many times, their first introduction to Him will come from watching you on the street—seeing how you treat others, noticing your quiet happiness and gentleness. They will first meet the Savior through your actions; then, if they talk to you, they can learn of Him through your words.
Through your actions, make the Lord's work lighter, not heavier, always strive to be the means by which your Heavenly Father introduces His Son to those that don't know Him. (And in many cases, to those who do).
-Dad
Here are some pictures: - This is me at the wood store. WOOD STORE! - Here is Mason and I at Chungas eating Nachos! - Here is Me, a Cat and a Nat! - And here is something that should be yeeted into space because it is gross.
Don't tell the Herrin's though, they gave it to us. It was very kind of them, but our whole house smelled like I broke wind when I opened it up. Lol eek.
Attachments: IMG_7678.jpeg, IMG_7679.jpeg, IMG_7690.jpeg, IMG_C8259A0C-D9EA-4308-A3BF-1C27DB473761.jpeg (not downloaded)