Hermana Heywood

Kaitlynn in the Chile Puerto Montt Mission

Coyhaique Travel Call with You, July 20, 2026

July 20, 2026 · Coyhaique (bus from the airport)

Mom and I talked with you for about forty-six minutes this afternoon while you rode an hour-long bus toward Coyhaique, after flying a couple of hours to get down there for exchanges. Hermana Figueredo was on camera with you for a good part of it. This was the second of our three calls today, and it turned into a long one about companionships, opinions, and learning to love someone hard to love.

The bus station and the ride

You were at a bus station, not the airport, waiting on the bus. It was cold, and you pointed out an old man in a Korean-style beret with his jeans pulled over his boots, and told me how the older ranchers wear big fur pants because of the cold. I joked that a mission tour of Chile would take a month; you said that is because your mission is gigantic.

Mom's farewell visit and your future housing

Mom told you she had gone to a young woman's mission farewell but had to teach Primary and missed the talk. She said Izzy's mom asked about you. You and Mom worked through post-mission BYU housing, whether a spot might open up if one of the roommates leaves or goes on a mission, and which semester you could start.

You have a job

Mom asked if you had heard back from Trent, and you said you had, and that he will just start you reading back, so you have a job when you come home. Mom said that is awesome, and that it will be interesting to see how it feels coming back and whether it feels right.

Hermana Figueredo and the breakup

Figueredo came on. She said she had talked to her mom but could not reach her dad until night, and that she will see him in three weeks. You had been pressing her to finally send the breakup message to her boyfriend, and you joked that she had waited so long he had already bought a bed and a whole kitchen. She said she loves his family but does not feel the same about him, that his brother is her substitute teacher, and that she worried she might be alone forever, because he is a good person and a good member but she just does not feel it. Mom and I told her she cannot marry him for his family, that he deserves someone who is crazy about him, and that letting him go is the kind thing.

Partway through the call, she sent the email. You announced, "Did it! You sent it! I'm proud of you," and Mom told you to tell her good job. You called her a "strong dumper," and noted you had sent your own breakup email before your mission at the gate in Hawaii.

Feeling unappreciated, and your next companion

When we asked how things were going, you said you struggle most days but it is getting better. You told us the interesting thing: on an intercambio, one of the Hermanas gave you a compliment and you felt appreciated, and it hit you that it was the first time you had felt fully seen in a long time. You said Figueredo rarely thanks you, and when she does it comes out backhanded, like calling you the most diligent missionary of your generation when all of your generation has already gone home. And you said what really broke you was learning your next companion, for your last transfer, will be Hermana Stewart. You love and trust her and know it will be good, and that is exactly what makes these last weeks feel like trudging through the mud.

How to be happy in a hard situation

I told you to think about what is put in your path right now, that anyone can be happy when everything is going their way, and the real thing to learn is how to be happy when it is easy not to be. I asked you not to waste this by not being present, but to look at the lessons about who you want to be, and to humble yourself. Mom added that your whole life, in marriage, roommates, and family, there will be people who are annoying or harsh, and this is your chance to practice the skills now that will make the rest of your life easier.

How to counsel with someone whose opinion differs

You said the hard part is that your companion feels like a nitpicky older sister, that your opinion always gets treated as wrong, and that you have started shutting down and just going with her way. You asked how to stop shutting down and how to counsel with someone you disagree with. I turned it to Mom, since she disagrees with me most of the time. Mom said she is stronger when she can appreciate that I have a different perspective and can understand a different point of view even when she thinks it is the wrong direction; that if she can see I am trying to accomplish something good, she has more peace than if she decides I am hard or mean; and that understanding I want good things keeps her from being resentful. I told you to examine why it is so important to be right or to do it your way, and pointed to how Jesus works by persuasion, longsuffering, and charity, patient with strong-willed people rather than blunt.

The music of the gospel

You said this reminded you of "the music of the gospel," and read us the passage: that it will not come all at once, that dissonance cannot be corrected by criticism, that dissonance in the home is like darkness in a room, and that it does little good to scold the darkness; you have to displace it by introducing light. You connected it to Alexa, that the moment we all decided to love her, it started to change, because you cannot criticize someone into being obedient. Mom said that is exactly what you have to do, step by step.

The sarcastic jab, and Mom's neighbor story

Mom pointed out that when you made the "pick me" comment out loud after the backhanded compliment, it did not make you feel better, so it is worth avoiding the sarcastic or hurt comments even while still feeling your hurt. She told you about our neighbors Chris and Lisa: Chris once said something hurtful about never having seen a good neighbor, right while Mom was bringing them cookies, and she said nothing; now, as they move, Chris told her she has been such a good neighbor and he hopes to be better. Mom said if she had reacted the way he deserved, she would never have gotten that goodness. I admitted I still think mean things in my heart and need to work on not having them.

Close

Your connection cut in and out for the last stretch, and we kept checking whether you could hear us, with Mom asking you to keep your camera on so we would know when you dropped. I repeated that responding, not reacting, is what matters. We said we loved you as the call broke up.

Cleanup Notes